I’ve been looking at Coachella pictures all weekend, and something’s been bothering me — how does Jessica Alba walk around a music festival and not get raped? You’d think with 60,000 people there, at least one of them (male or female) would be thinking this was their chance. I’m certainly not condoning rape, but there’s an exception to every rule and Jessica Alba has got to be the rape exception. It’s just like how I’m not gay, but if I saw Jason Statham at the grocery store, I’d still try to make out with him. A person’s willpower can only be so strong.

Speaking of Statham, I was just tipped off to the Crank sequel that’s in the works. The filmmakers say the sequel will pick up right where the first left off — so if you know anything about the first film, you should be laughing your ass off right now. For those of you who still haven’t seen Crank — how many times do I have have to tell you its one of the greatest pieces of recent cinema before you finally watch it? You people are impossible and have no sense of humor.

Ugh. iTunes exclusives are the worst. If you end up with BRMC’s “The Likes of You“ before I do, hook a blogga up.

SEMI-Live! Detroit-ish taper extraodinaire, Paramnesiac, has started a web site to host the concerts he’s recorded. This is the same person that provided the Electric Six, Man Man and VietNam/Black Angels shows, among others, that have been posted here. The first show is up now and, rumor has it, Friday’s Lee Marvin Computer Arm could be added shortly.

I’ve been looking at Coachella pictures all weekend, and something’s been bothering me — how does Jessica Alba walk around a music festival and not get raped? You’d think with 60,000 people there, at least one of them (male or female) would be thinking this was their chance. I’m certainly not condoning rape, but there’s an exception to every rule and Jessica Alba has got to be the rape exception. It’s just like how I’m not gay, but if I saw Jason Statham at the grocery store, I’d still try to make out with him. A person’s willpower can only be so strong.

Speaking of Statham, I was just tipped off to the Crank sequel that’s in the works. The filmmakers say the sequel will pick up right where the first left off — so if you know anything about the first film, you should be laughing your ass off right now. For those of you who still haven’t seen Crank — how many times do I have have to tell you its one of the greatest pieces of recent cinema before you finally watch it? You people are impossible and have no sense of humor.

Ugh. iTunes exclusives are the worst. If you end up with BRMC’s “The Likes of You“ before I do, hook a blogga up.

SEMI-Live! Detroit-ish taper extraodinaire, Paramnesiac, has started a web site to host the concerts he’s recorded. This is the same person that provided the Electric Six, Man Man and VietNam/Black Angels shows, among others, that have been posted here. The first show is up now and, rumor has it, Friday’s Lee Marvin Computer Arm could be added shortly.

I’ve been looking at Coachella pictures all weekend, and something’s been bothering me — how does Jessica Alba walk around a music festival and not get raped? You’d think with 60,000 people there, at least one of them (male or female) would be thinking this was their chance. I’m certainly not condoning rape, but there’s an exception to every rule and Jessica Alba has got to be the rape exception. It’s just like how I’m not gay, but if I saw Jason Statham at the grocery store, I’d still try to make out with him. A person’s willpower can only be so strong.

Speaking of Statham, I was just tipped off to the Crank sequel that’s in the works. The filmmakers say the sequel will pick up right where the first left off — so if you know anything about the first film, you should be laughing your ass off right now. For those of you who still haven’t seen Crank — how many times do I have have to tell you its one of the greatest pieces of recent cinema before you finally watch it? You people are impossible and have no sense of humor.

Ugh. iTunes exclusives are the worst. If you end up with BRMC’s “The Likes of You“ before I do, hook a blogga up.

SEMI-Live! Detroit-ish taper extraodinaire, Paramnesiac, has started a web site to host the concerts he’s recorded. This is the same person that provided the Electric Six, Man Man and VietNam/Black Angels shows, among others, that have been posted here. The first show is up now and, rumor has it, Friday’s Lee Marvin Computer Arm could be added shortly.

“Icky Thump” links are down, due to an e-mail I received:

“…a DMCA notification shall be forwarded to you and legal action by our clients’ lawyers and the BPI / RIAA shall follow…you are potentially causing considerable damage and we are sure that you would not want to be held to be personally liable for all of the lost sales that could ensue.”

Lost sales. Right. The thought of any one internet jackass being held responsible for a multi-platinum, Grammy Award-winning rock band not selling records is hysterical to me. Hell, if I had that kind of power, I’d be posting Avril Lavigne and Nickelback tracks in an attempt to keep them off Billboard charts. It’s you and your tomfoolery, Mr. Lawyer, that dissuades people from buying albums. Why aren’t you held liable for lost sales? Enough of this…

Danny Dollrod (of The Demolition Dollrods) went on before Lee Marvin Computer Arm last night, playing something I think he made in wood-shop class. What is that — a plank of wood, a rusty nail and an empty mini-bar bottle? It sounded pretty rad, and I plan on making someone build me one as soon as I figure out what the hell it is.

Lee Marvin Computer Arm always makes me want to smash things and punch people — but I try not to do those things at shows, so I just get liquored up instead. They sounded better than ever, and their performance was the shot of adrenaline I desperately needed. They released their new three-song 7″, which features “You/Me,” “Bootstraps,” and “Free Money” — a song the guys were nice enough to let me do an “Exclusive Debut” with last year. Fifteen (I think) of the records came with a CD with the new vinyl tracks, and their 2004 EP combined. The 7″ will eventually be available through Cass Records, but the band and Bellyache Candy Shop each have ten copies left of the limited-artwork version that was sold last night. These aren’t going to last, so if you want one — I’d contact someone at one of those links right now.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Lee Marvin Computer Arm plays the Lager House tonight to celebrate their new record being released. LMCA is one of the most explosive live shows you’ll ever see, and I’ve been looking forward to this show for months. The last time they played the area was during Blowout (see above photo), and after they filled the venue, there was still a line of people at the door fighting to get in. You may want to get there early tonight.

Hey, who do I have to talk to in order to get a VIP pass for Tastefest CityFest? Why do I have to mooch off friends, and be their +1 every year? I am BlogGod. I demand free drinks and side-stage seating. Also, deep-fried Mars bars and loose women.

The Horrors have canceled their dates opening for Black Rebel Motorcycle Club — this includes the May 25 Detroit show. Who do you want to replace them? The Fratellis? Lily Allen? Carjack?

There’s a nice clean V0 mp3 rip of “Icky Thump” that was pulled off a Radio/DJ promo CD. The disc contains an “Album Version” and an “Edit” version that’s 30 seconds shorter. I don’t know who would want the shorter version, but if you want the other — I’m sure you can find it.

Fox canceled Drive after four episodes. I never got around to watching the episodes I had downloaded, but I’ve got to believe the combination of Tim Minear and Nathan Fillion had to be watchable. It’s a shame television doesn’t allow a show to build an audience anymore. It’s almost like the film industry’s Opening Weekend — if a show doesn’t bring in huge numbers for the first and second episodes, it’s instantly a failure. And that’s the reason viewers won’t invest their time in a new show, so that’s why they get canceled. Rinse. Repeat.
I’m sure you’re all familiar with the Minear/Fillion masterpiece, Firefly (canceled by Fox), but if you want more Minear brilliance — hit the torrent sites and download The Inside (canceled by Fox).

Books. They still make them, you know. I’m not sure for who…people on trains maybe? You know I’d never recommend anything boring to you, so you’re just going to have to trust me when I tell you to read this interview with Warren Ellis about his forthcoming debut novel, Crooked Little Vein. “America is crying out for a book about porn farms, tantric ostrich abuse and the well-documented sexual preference for giant radioactive lizards.” This sounds like the greatest thing ever written. I have pre-ordered.

Enough already. Stop asking for the new GLMS album. I am not posting it here. My anonymity isn’t what it used to be around these parts, and I don’t like getting punched every time I go to a show. Two tracks is what I’ll give you, and then you’ll all STFU and wait for it to leak somewhere else. Judging by the comments on my previous post, enough of you monkeys have a copy — it’s someone else’s turn to be the asshole.
Great Lakes Myth Society - Raindrops & Roses
Great Lakes Myth Society - Debutante

The amount of page views I normally have each day has multiplied by 20, due to White Stripery — proving once again that I am Internet Ninja. Welcome Stereogum, Idolator, Blender and Spinner readers. I’m sure your stay will be brief. To the regular WV community, I appreciate your patience as I’ve unintentionally drawn Corporate Internet’s attention once, twice, now three times in the last month. I’m starting to smell lawyers around here, so as of noon tomorrow this site turns into nothing but midget/bestiality videos until I feel it’s safe for us to discuss music again. Two things before I go to sleep for so many hours that I am unable to respond to your Cease & Desist order in a timely fashion:

1. White Stripes tour dates. Who the hell lives in Connecticut? And of course Toronto and London, Ontario during Tastefest CityFest. No Detroiter misses Tastefest CityFest.

2. An advance copy of Great Lakes Myth Society’s forthcoming album, Compass Rose Bouquet, found its way to me. This is probably the most excited I’ve been about a new album release since Johnny Headband’s debut, and as soon I figure out how to do the album justice with boring internet words, I will. Honestly, this is my Spring ‘07 Album. Windows rolled down, sun shining, radio blaring, me screaming along…I’ll stop now and save the rest for my review.

I win.

The White Stripes - “Icky Thump” (XFM recording)
Removed

Sometimes I have trouble sleeping. I made this last night. For you. (In real life, my belt and tie would match.)

So, what? We’re only about twelve hours away from the new White Stripes single hitting the nets? I don’t understand why I have to wait for things. And I really don’t understand why I have to wait for iTunes to release something. God, this industry is fucked up. Meanwhile, The Raconteurs are currently recording their second album in, what I’m guessing is, an attempt to finish in time to allow Jack to open for himself on a White Stripes/Raconteurs Everywhere But Detroit World Tour. Anyway..when you get “Icky Thump,” send it my way. I’ve never installed iTunes, and I don’t plan on it either.

Sometimes I have trouble sleeping. I made this last night. For you. (In real life, my belt and tie would match.)

So, what? We’re only about twelve hours away from the new White Stripes single hitting the nets? I don’t understand why I have to wait for things. And I really don’t understand why I have to wait for iTunes to release something. God, this industry is fucked up. Meanwhile, The Raconteurs are currently recording their second album in, what I’m guessing is, an attempt to finish in time to allow Jack to open for himself on a White Stripes/Raconteurs Everywhere But Detroit World Tour. Anyway..when you get “Icky Thump,” send it my way. I’ve never installed iTunes, and I don’t plan on it either.