In todays “are you fucking kidding me?” file, I deliver you this absolute gem from the Real Detroit Weekly website:

“Look for us up front singing along to “Whatcha Down.” We’ll probably be the sloppy ones spilling PBR all over you … sorry in advance.”

Is there a Go B-side called Whatcha Down that I don’t know about?  Very possible.  OR.. someone at Real Detroit has not a single clue what they’re talking about, but insists on writing it.  Dude, that’s what blogs are for.

I know it was a typo, and automatic spell check machine changed your correct article to make it an incorrect article.  Truth be told, I just like to be a dick.

This interview with Daniel Johnston makes up for it, really.  I would like to interview Eric Allen about interviewing Daniel Johnston, and after that if you’d like you can interview me.

Both CSS and Peaches are going to remix The B-52s.  This is great news for people who like news.

The B-52s have a new record coming out at the end of February which will be the first record of new material in 116 years.  I know, I know.. you don’t care about the B-52s.  That is a huge mistake on your part, trust me.

Here is the new single.
[display_podcast]

When I asked someone much more in the know than I am about this years Hamtramck Blowout the response wasn’t what I was hoping. “It’s a trainwreck. But you didn’t hear that from me.” Hmm. Judging by the fact that the Metro Times Blowout page is still the artist submission page that should have been closed over a month ago I’d guess that ANONYMOUS SOURCE is correct with their information.

Awhile ago I backed the Hamtramck Blowout during the Detour vs Blowout Detroit Music Festival Scandal Of 2007, or DVBDMFSo2k7, as it came to be known. I did this based almost entirely out of tradition. I think that if you’ve been doing something semi-successfully for 10 years you get the rights to that weekend until you blow it. Last year people were whining that it was too big and spread out, with too many bands and too many overlapping time slots. I sided with the Blowout. I liked having to miss half sets, and having to drive around to wild places to see 2 songs of someones set. If I missed a bands set entirely I knew they were from Detroit, and that means that they will be playing the next 15 weekends in a row so it didn’t matter.

This year though, I’ve got a bad feeling. I hope they prove it wrong and orchestrate the best Blowout yet.  Ye of little faith be reminded that Black Lips / Terrible Twos tickets are still available for their March 6th show at The Magic Stick.

Last year I vaguely remember there were a group of gatekeepers who would review Blowout submissions, and be responsible for the schedule.  To ask a question that I probably don’t want to know the answer to.. who are the people involved in that aspect of the Blowout this year?  It’s never too late to ask for help.

This has already been mentioned on every site on Detroit’s internet, but whoever decided to book SSM’s CD Release show at Taco Bell (or wherever) is pretty fucking brilliant. I’ve already had three conversations that went something like:

Q: Why is SSM doing a show in a Mexican restaurant?
A: Because I’m hungry.
Q: But the sound will be terrible and won’t the people eating there be irritated?
A: Uh…there will be nachos and salsa and tequila and bands.
Q: Oh yeah…this is a good idea. Why doesn’t every band do this?
A: Racism.

I’m assuming the $8 for girls, $10 for guys cover charge is some sort of Mexican custom like hitting piñatas and cramming your extended family into a Volkswagen. And that’s in pesos, right? If I can’t pay will they make me wash dishes in the back? I gotta believe Mexicantown has an unlimited supply of dishwashers ready to do the work for me. Those guys love jobs and would thank me for the work. I’d be a hero for not paying my bill, and they’d probably add me to the Mexican Mount Rushmore with Zorro, Tony Montana and Speedy Gonzalez’s drunk sidekick.

So…if I were to happen upon the Terrible Twos full-length, that is, if they had recorded thirteen tracks of kick-ass hardcore punk music onto some form of media, I would be completely blown away by the amount of live energy that recording was able to capture.

If I had heard this hypothetical album, I might say that this is the most exciting thing I’ve heard in months and that if you live in any of the cities on their upcoming tour, you may want to show up and get your face melted.

Seriously. Holy Shit.

[stolen myspace photo: john buckawitz]

Hi, I would like to waste some of your day.

I just don’t get it.

Dear Other Cities,
I told you we could party as hard as the rest of you.

Dear New Indie/Spazz Rock/Synthy/Dance Acts,
I told you there is a crowd here for you.

Dan Deacon Mega Picture Post

I’m trying to get my brain working again. I’m back at work, but that’s about as mentally stimulating as…I dunno, having the flu. I’ve missed three days of internet — which is loads of stuff, yet absolutely nothing at the same time. The “unread” count in my feed reader is in the eight hundreds. If I’m lucky, a dozen of those articles will be worth reading.

Why do I have an inbox of people forwarding me this? And then telling me to write a letter to someone about how the American people won’t stand for this discrimination. This is not something to be outraged over, this is something to laugh your ass off over. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t care what anybody sticks their penis into — as long as they ask politely first. (I don’t even care if they wait for a response.) But this Jesus Memo is the equivalent of Tom Cruise’s Scientology video (now with LOLCAT action), and if Warner Brothers was smart, they’d use that memo as the promotional poster for The Dark Knight. Just slap the release date on the bottom and hang it from the ceiling of theaters. Something like this:

Speaking of Jesus.

Speaking of movies, if Juno can get a Best Picture nomination, I hope this wins the Oscar next year.

Here’s a proper Dan Deacon review. I’m still half-sick, which is why I’m half-tempted to write some grandiose statement about a scene change and Detroit crowds and who’s booking what and how old those kids are and at what age you trade fun for bitterness and how long it’ll be before I can eat something without throwing it up. Cuz of the flu. Not bulimia. I’m too sexy for bulimia.

But the non-sick half of my brain knows nobody cares and I’d only be writing it to instigate a comment war that only I would win. I’m what some might call a “jerk”.

Have some pictures of sweaty kids in a packed venue having fun. In Detroit even!

Thanks, Scotter.

The new Steven Malkmus & The Jicks album is rad. I would love to be able to tell you to swing up to Record Time in Ferndale to grab yourself a copy, but by time they get it I think they will be out of business. If you are a die hard supporting fan, you will have to wait 2 months to hear it. If you are a thief, let’s talk about how good it is.

Real Detroit Weekly dot com, and Majestic Detroit dot com has thought it best not to tell you about the RDW Birthday Show coming up this weekend. It’s not a secret, I hope. The Majestic Cafe however will have a new menu on February 1st. Don’t tell me about advertisement in the print edition of anything, this cable running into my home ensures that I don’t have to read the print edition of shit, bro. I’m just kidding, they’re only 9 years old, give them a break.

The Go > Tuna

SSM are having a cd release party Friday Feb 1st the same night night before at El Comal Mexican Restaurant. It is 10$ so it must include a full mexican buffet all night, and a free copy of the new record on limited edition colored vinyl. Upon double checking, it doesn’t specify if it comes with either. It must be 10$ because of the apparent wealth of Southwest Detroit. I still love you, SSM.

SSM > Burritos
SSM = Enchiladas