[Yes, I re-titled this. I had time to look at Detroit's internet and felt left out.]

I saw four SOLD OUT shows in Chicago in four days. I have a new appreciation for half-full / empty venues in Detroit. Fuck crowds. Fuck people. Fuck Chicago. Don’t those assholes have anything better to do than crowd around me wherever I go? Don’t they have a Bears / White Sox / Cubs game to go to?

9/26
Friday was Why? and Tobacco and Anni Rossi. Anni Rossi is an experimental viola act. For real. It was kinda cool. Listen.
Tobacco is half-music, half-video projector show. Like this. Most of you would hate it, but I was entertained. I attempted to purchase their Fucked Up Friends 12″ during Why?’s set but they had already packed up their merch and left. I always like when bands confirm the fact that they don’t want my money.
Somehow Why? sounded a little better in Ann Arbor’s Quiznos back in January, but it was still a great show — a good mix of tracks from both albums and the guys seemed a bit surprised at the number of people they pulled in. I, on the other hand, was surprised at the number of people who felt the need to scream along to “The Hollows”. It felt like a Radiohead / Pearl Jam show. Why can’t more people shut the fuck up and let the guy who’s supposed to be singing sing? I didn’t pay to hear some drunk douchewhore karaoke.
The show was at Bottom Lounge which is newly opened or newly relocated or newly some shit. I dunno. I don’t live there. The venue was actually pretty nice, you know, in addition to the fact that the no-smoking law in Chicago makes any venue twice as nice as any in Michigan. I did have a problem with the pretentious “Keep A Line” attitude of the assholes working the door. We all had tickets. We’re all getting in. But I guess they felt if there was a line of kids down the sidewalk in the fucking meat-packing district, that all the people driving around looking for something to do in the fucking meat-packing district would go to this show. So they only let three people in at a time. Just because. Retarded.

9/27
Saturday I saw My Bloody Valentine. We missed the opener. I can’t really describe what this sounded like. It wasn’t anything I’d ever heard before. Or felt. I think it was felt. Honestly, it was amazing — even the twenty-minute “wall of noise” or whatever you want to call it. I loved every second of it.
The venue, Aragon, looks like a goddamn Las Vegas casino. The castle one. I’m sure it’s a nice place when it’s not sold out, but the band started at 9pm and the doors opened at 6:30. So when I got there around 8:30 I found a prime spot behind a cement pillar way off to the side. Who the fuck has time to camp out in a venue? The three hours before a show are reserved for drinking affordable liquor somewhere else. Fucking Chicago.
Ryan Allen has a much better review of the show over at Detour, along with a paparazzi shot of Steve Gutenberg.
Set List
I Only Said // When You Sleep // You Never Should // When You Wake // Cigarette In Your Bed // Come In Alone // Only Shallow // Thorn // Nothing Much To Lose // To Here Knows When // Slow // Soon // Feed Me With Your Kiss // You Made Me Realise

9/28
Sunday was…uh…someone poisoned me Saturday night. So Sunday I spent most of the day trying to not die. You think I’m exaggerating. I’m not. Even though I wanted to see Growing, I missed them because of the whole “should I go to the hospital?” dilemma. I didn’t, and instead went to The Metro. Again, showing up late to a SOLD OUT show means you’re automatically stuck in the back, but as soon as the band came out we forced our way around the side and closer to the stage.
Hot Chip surprised the hell out of me. I saw them at Lollapalooza some year, but big festivals don’t count. I’d compare them to LCD Soundsystem in the way you’d think it’s all techno-electronic-programmed music but it’s actually seven guys banging on shit and playing actual instruments. These dudes came out dancing (and they’re old) and never stopped moving (especially the fat one) — so neither did the crowd. Giant balloons bouncing around in the air and a sea of bodies jumping around on the floor. Hot Chip SOLD OUT two consecutive nights at The Metro, and after seeing the kind of reaction they’re used to getting from an audience…I know why they haven’t bothered playing here.
Set List (looked something like this with Shiny Escalade jammed in there somewhere along with some other song I’d never heard)
One Pure Thought // Bendable Poseable // Shake A Fist // Boys from School // Hold On // Touch Too Much // Over and Over // Alleycats // Out at the Pictures // Wrestlers // Down with Prince // Ready for the Floor // Made in the Dark // Playboy // Not Fit State // Nothing Compares 2 U // In the Privacy of Our Love

9/29
By Monday I was sick of going to shows. Seriously. They’re fucking crowded and hot and gross and Monday’s Nick Cave show was the most crowded, hottest, grossest of them all. We skipped the opener again because a friend who’d gone to the previous night’s SOLD OUT show in Chicago warned me the opening band sucked. The Riviera Theater reminded me of The State/Fillmore. Except you don’t have to be nine feet tall to see the stage at The State/Fillmore. I’ve decided all Nick Cave fans are two feet taller, ten years older and sixty pounds heavier than I am. I had visibility of Nick / the stage for a combined total of maybe five minutes. So it was pretty much the best show I never saw, but Nick Cave has to be the most intense frontman I’ve ever seen. I’d fucking love to see this band play somewhere I could actually see this band play.
Set List
Hold on to yourself // Dig lazarus dig // Tupelo // Weeping song // Red Right Hand // Midnight Man // God is in the House // Nobody’s Baby Now //The mercy seat // Deanna // Moonland // Get ready for love // We call upon the author // Papa won’t leave you Henry // More news from nowhere // Jesus of the Moon // Hard on for love // Stagger Lee

Tune in next week when I tell you how much Dayton, Ohio irritated me.

I don’t know, man. THIS is all it takes to woo Meg White?  I have to imagine that by her saying she was “touched” and accepted some invitation to see this guys Detroit show (via Stereogum) that it was just a situation of being nice.  Sort of like if you were a Special Education teacher and one of your students made you a card.  “Oh Raymond, this is great.. I will put this in my special basket at home!”   Meg, Ms. White, I’ve written an albums worth of shit better than this for you, so go ahead and check “maybe” on this clown’s internet version of a “Will you go out with me?” note.  Thanks.

Look, Ray Montagne… This was Jack’s girl as you point out in your song.  Not to mention motherfucking Christreater.  Even when she’s SLUMMING it’s with Vincent Gallo.  Nice song, man.  Really.  But you’re going to have to join the rest of us who aren’t in her league.  There’s always room for one more.

Listen to this nonsense.

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I was at the Friendly Foes CD Release Party.  That is the only real information I can really confirm.  I suggest not starting to drink downriver at 4:45pm and make an effort to continue on through 2am.  It doesn’t really work.

I remember that Scott Allen’s new project Big Mess was one of the most entertaining things I’ve seen in quite some time.  If you’re playing guitar, and harmonica, and still can come off as a total spaz, then I guess you are pretty amazing.  Is this Americana?  It sounds like what people who know a lot about scotch would listen to?  Do I go with the single malt or what?

Copper Thieves confirmed that neither John Nelson or Christian Doble can do any wrong.  “How come there aren’t any straight up rock bands in Detroit?”  How come you haven’t seen this yet?

Friendly Foes did what they do.  Any band taking notes should’ve jotted down that this full length release party came exactly one year to the day after Ryan Allen gave Lizzy his home demos to start working on Foes as a full band.  Twelve months, five thousand shows (give or take), a nod from Pitchfork, then pretty much selling out the venue you do your record release party in.  This is how it’s done, I guess.  If you missed the show, you should probably but a record here: Gangplank Records!  Amazon, iTunes, and all of that are coming, but there’s no need to wait.

Saturday was a day in which I payed the price for Friday.  Did anyone make it out to see RRIICCEE?  That’s the only thing I want to hear about.

So…who’s an MMJ fan? I have to admit, I didn’t really get into these guys until seeing them live a few years ago. I think it was around the time Z came out. I’ve seen them again since then and both were really impressive performances that justify the fact that they have a fanbase that follows them around the country on tour. I mean, I guess it justifies it. I’m not sure anything justifies living in a van for a month stalking a band. But then again, I’m spending five days in Chicago right now to see bands who wouldn’t come to Detroit. Of course the main difference here is I get to shower every morning. And I don’t live in a van. And I’m awesome.

Here are two videos that, I feel, demonstrate a couple of the sounds My Morning Jacket is known for. If you dig them even a little bit, you should go to the show on Saturday at The Fillmore because, like I said, they’ll win you over live. I’ve got a pair of guestlist spots to give away to someone who doesn’t have $40 for a ticket. E-mail me (address in the left sidebar) with a subject of MMJ Tickets and your FIRSTNAME LASTNAME in the body and you might win. Oh, and if you’re attending this show, be warned that the band starts playing at 8PM — so don’t fuck yourself by being casually late.

I’ll be out of town until Tuesday — at Jasperpalooza in Chicago seeing Why?, Tobacco, Anni Rossi, My Bloody Valentine, Hopewell, Hot Chip, Growing, Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds and Black Diamond Heavies. Don’t be jealous. I’m sure all of these bands will eventually hit Detroit. Except Nick Cave, who’s gone on record saying he’ll never come back here. And I’m not too sure about MBV either. But I’m sure Scrummage will land Tobacco soon. Oh wait, I forgot there’s really no Scrummage for the time being. Well, maybe Quiznos will book Why? again, and Hot Chip can’t go another three years ignoring us…can they?

Either way, you’ve got plenty to do here in the next few days. Have you heard about the Friendly Foes record release party tonight? Oh, you have? How about Santogold on Saturday? From there you can head to The Stick for Mick Bassett, Four Hour Friends and Michael Bermudez. There’s also some pretentious horseshit at The Crofoot that night, and I know how you scarf-wearing retards eat that shit up. I dunno, you’ll figure something out.

Didn’t I just say something about iTunes ruining music?

Also, fuck Metallica. Fuck Metallica. Fuck Metallica. When do they get to die in a plane crash? Please make it be soon. But please don’t let Lars go quickly. Make him be, like, paralyzed and fall somewhere that animals get to feed on him for days before being raped to death by a moose or a porcupine or something.

This is the worst best thing ever, I think. I don’t even know.

Take your internet connection over to this myspace right here.

Daniel Johnson of Judah Johnson has new stuff, and it’s fantastic.  I don’t know if the project is called Lazrus, or the project is called Daniel and the album is called Lazrus.  I’ll just credit it to Daniel Johnson until someone corrects me.  Either way, just listen to it.  All of it.

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MySpace music launched today. This doesn’t really affect me since the value I give to an mp3 is somewhere around zero cents, give or take. But if this is a success, maybe they’ll spend some time developing MySpace into something worth using. Remember on the olde timey internet, when bands had real websites with actual information on them? Like discographies and song lyrics and message boards and set lists and links to places I could spend money on their products? Remember that? When artists wanted you to know what they had for sale instead of just putting an MP3 on the internet and expecting to get rich? MySpace has fucked everything up. It’s made musicians lazy and legitimized people who have no business getting attention from anyone. It may be a “social network,” but it doesn’t benefit the music fan. I’m an obsessive nerd. I need last night’s set list, an image of your tour poster, details of your merch booth and reviews of your live show. Where is your band’s message board? All I see is a list of your favorite movies and your hip influences. Guess how much I care about those things. Wrong. It’s even less.

The other day I spent about an hour looking for a way to buy the first Titus Andronics 7″ and the EAR PWR 12″. Lucky for them, I was stuck at work and had nothing better to do — but think about that. A fan is looking for a way to buy your shit, but you’ve taken the easy way out with MySpace — so not only do I not know what you have for sale (where’s your discography list?), I don’t even know where to find it. And don’t get me started on label sites without PayPal / click-to-buy options.

The internet is a fraud and I will never stop hating MySpace and iTunes for ruining music.

Good day, sir.

Tuesday night I was on the couch at 11:30pm and got a text about going up to the Lager House.  This was my initial plan, but I had I had two different 90210 episodes on the DVR to watch.  By them being on a DVR I would think it would be easy to pull myself away, but when it looks like Annie might sleep with Ty, then I just have to know.  Let the record show that I don’t think she should sleep with Ethan either, because I haven’t forgotten that anonymous blowjob he got in the first episode.  Creep.

So I finally made it up to the Lager with everyone telling me that The Intelligence was sweet, and there was a million people there on Tuesday night.  I did get to see the full set from the Terrible Twos.  From here on out, I’m going to refer to that band as being “Structure Punk.”  It’s like if more punk bands knew how to play their instruments, AND practiced playing them together.  The songs are so tight live it’s sickening, and on top of that they had multiple people crowd surfing.  Tuesday night.  Punk rock. Crowd surfing.  How about that, Detroit?  On top of that, X! Records brought the goody box, so I finally got to pick up a copy of the Frustrations LP.  I suggest you do the same. X! Records

Tomorrow Friendly Foes are releasing Born Radical.  You should come watch them do it.  It’s at the Berkley Front, and Big Mess (Which is Scott Allen’s new project) and Copper Theives are opening.  Word on the street is that Art F*g Inc. will be DJing between bands and to close out the night.  You wouldn’t know that because no one felt the need to put it on the show poster.  Someone should explain my insatiable ego to them.  An ungodly number of beer on tap, a giant party… Delmar here we come.