The official Blowout schedule has been officially officialed. Click that little thing below to see the full list in its horribly formatted glory.

The Coachella lineup has been announced and, as it turns out, I don’t really care about the Coachella lineup being announced. Seeing Leonard Cohen would be cool, but the rest of it is a list of bands I don’t care about mixed with a list of bands I’ve seen a dozen times already. Festivals are for people who don’t go to shows. And for people with money. And for people who can tolerate their own species.

Is this a good lineup? Does anyone go to this thing? I heard Dead Bodies were on the preliminary schedule, but it turns out they didn’t even ask/want to play. Weird.

Via Modern age Via NME…

“Jack and Meg White have donated the drum kit used in the White Stripes’ “The Hardest Button to Button” video (directed by Michel Gondry) in order to raise money for Detroit music scene legend Jim Shaw, who was recently diagnosed with cancer.

The kit (seen below), which is only being auctioned on eBay in an online store set up in Jim Shaw’s name, will have a view at the silent auction art show at Cpop Gallery in Detroit, MI on Saturday, February 7th, 6-9PM.”

You officially have a week to guess how much these are going to go for…  I’m saying $9,999.   It’s for a great cause,  so hopefully someone with some extra cash can  scoop these up.

Detroit Mayor Ken Cockrel was asked his musical tastes, and apparently he really said this:

“I like too (much) music to pick a favorite but if I was stuck on a desert island I’d want an Ipod loaded with a generous helping of Charlie Parker, Miles Davis, John Coltrane, Johnny Cash (especially “At Folsom Prison”), Patsy Kline(sic), Marvin Gaye, Pink Floyd, the Who, ACDC, Peter Frampton (specifically “Frampton Comes Alive”), Foghat, The Clash, Gang of Four, Joy Division, New Order, Black Flag, Public Enemy (”Fear of a Black Planet” changed my life), Ice Cube, Run DMC, Tupac, DMX, Jay Z, Notorious B.I.G., Moby, The Chemical Brothers, DJ Shadow, The Crystal Method, Lil Jon and the East Side Boys, Alicia Keyes, Jill Scott, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, and last but not least Detroit’s own Dirtbombs.”

Not too shabby, eh?

Via Ken Cockrel, I guess.  Also, Ben Blackwell told me.

Have you ever seen a grown man stick a microphone up his ass and then sing into it for the rest of the night?

My introduction to Gil Mantera’s Party Dream went something like that, and you know me — I’ve got to experience everything at least once. Sometimes twice, depending on who I bunked with at summer camp. So I took my friend’s advice and went to the GMPD show some years ago at the Magic Stick. No microphones up the ass, but I did witness three girls at the front of the stage finger Ultimate Donny’s asshole while he performed. No joke. I spent most of the night trying to figure out if these dudes were on every possible drug at once and complete disasters, or stone sober and bona fide geniuses.

I’ve seen them twice since then and still haven’t figured it out. The closest comparison I have for them is — imagine if the McPoyle Brothers from It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia were in a band. Need something to back that up? Watch this video of them purposely butchering Joy Division’s “Love Will Tear Us Apart,” skip to about 2:00 and keep watching. I encourage you to continue browsing YouTube for their clips or maybe buy their DVD.

Why am I rambling about them right now? For one, I’m drunk. For two, they’re playing the Pike Room on Tuesday with Carjack and Champions of Breakfast — a match made in retarded electro-heaven. And for three, their new album, Dreamscape,  just hit the bit torrenternets and I’ve been dancing around my living room to it, in my g-string, spilling vodka everywhere for the last couple hours. Oh, did I mention how sweet their music is? Listen to this new track while I go pass out in the bathtub.

GMPD - “Ballerina” Ballerina by GMPD

Long story short, I guess.  Jacoby’s was around forever.  Then they told Stirling and Sue they were not going to be hosting live music any longer, which was sort of like firing them, right?  Right.

Fast forward a month or whatever it’s been, and now Jacoby’s is looking for bands to play on the weekends, and doing it through an employee who works there, I guess.

via the Detroit After Dark blog…

Sue and Stirling had booked and promoted local rock shows upstairs at Jacoby’s for twelve years. It makes one wonder why Jacoby’s let them go in the first place (according to Sue it was because they weren’t interested in having live music), considering their solid relationship with Detroit’s music scene.

Nobody really wants to say it, so I guess since I’ve just assumed the role of asshole, that I will.  Every single time I’m in the same room as Stirling it takes, I’d guess, around three seconds before someone comes up to me and makes a joke about him, or his pants, or his air drumming / guitar, or his need to grab the mic before the last note is even finished to start telling you about him from the stage.  Then this repeats itself about twelve times throughout the night.

I don’t know Stirling personally.  Have I goofed on his getting on the mic routine?  Sure I have.  Does that really mean anything in the grand scheme of things?  Of course it doesn’t.  Stirling and Sue have moved on to the Corktown Tavern I hear, and I hope all goes well for them there.  Best of luck to everyone involved.  Do I have an issue?  Of course I do.

More people than I can count are always complaining about the venues, the bands, the crowds, the bartender, the talent buyer… something.  So what is so wrong with Jacoby’s looking to shake it up a bit?  I don’t know this Shannon girl either, but maybe she’s young and not yet jaded by all of the bullshit.  Maybe after Jacoby’s decision to suspend live shows, she begged for a shot.  Maybe Jacoby’s secretly wanted Stirling and Sue out of there because they weren’t living up to whatever end of the bargain they made previously.  I don’t know.  I don’t care.

I’m glad that things are shifting around.  Detroit is like some magical forest where if you did something great twenty years ago that people still use it as a reason that you’re relevant today.  The idea that we should applaud the complacent and champion mediocrity is absolutely insane to me.  All of this outrage that I heard from many sources yesterday did nothing but confuse me.  I couldn’t even tell you the last time I was in Jacoby’s.  Dead Bodies maybe after a St. Andrews show where the PA wasn’t working right?  Maybe?

Stirling and Sue are probably great people, and on top of that… they have a new gig to continue doing what they do.  If you’re a die hard fan of their programming, congratulations!  You get to continue being a part of it.  Let’s not crack on Shannon’s Jacoby’s before it even gets a shot.  Sure, she got that job at the cost of a few folks with a “solid relationship with Detroit’s music scene (I have no idea what that even means) being removed, but just let it ride for a few.  If it gets shitty I’ll be first in line to run my iMouth about it.  Cross my heart.

Keep up with Sue and Stirling RIGHT HERE if you’re not already.  Stephanie Loveless February 28th at Corktown Tavern.  Poster says it’s $7, website says it’s $8… it might be $9.  Loveless is worth it.  Trust me.

Want a show at Shannon’s Jacoby’s?
email it up.

David Bryne, Chuck D, Method Man, RZA, KRS-One, Karen O, Old Dirty Bastard, Tom Waits, Kool Keith, Kanye West, Santogold, Lykke Li, George Clinton, Spank Rock, MIA, Del Tha Funkee Homosapien, Cool Kids, Ghostface Killah…

I know that reads like a Pitchfork Festival, but they’re all on the new N.A.S.A. record.  You should probably be banging this through the weekend.

Where is the comment Robin Hood when you need him, right?

Timing is everything, and today I don’t have very much to spare.  I would not deny you my impeccable tastes though, because that’s just cruel.

Bloc Party - One Month Off
Bloc Party - One Month Off
You know these guys?  Grab this and get in on the ground floor of Bloc Party Mania!  Oh.  Yeah, it is kind of old.  Hmm.
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Like A Fox - Night Person
Like A Fox - Night Person
I really like this whole record.  I realize it isn’t for everyone, but I also realize that I don’t like most people.  Four piece via Philly, ex-Lenola, sings-like-a-faggot.  Right on!
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Silverghost - Bad Blood
Silverghost - Bad Blood
These guys are a full length away from being the greatest thing in Detroit.  Everything that has come across my inbox thus far has been fantastic

Passion Pit last night at the Pike Room…does it mean I’m old when I catch myself thinking “Where did all these kids come from?” I was told there were more advance tickets sold for this show than total amount of tickets sold for Vampire Weekend last December. That was nice to hear. Great turnout, good performances. I’ve got to say though, if you’re a touring band and you don’t have an encore ready for when the crowd demands one…you need to get your shit together. Passion Pit’s encore was just the singer doing one verse of “Sleepyhead” — a song they’d already played. Lame. You’re telling me you don’t know any other songs than the six you just performed? Even a cover song is better than a repeat. Like “Monster Mash”. Why won’t anyone ever play “Monster Mash”?
Also, if I pick up your standard black vinyl, no frills, boring cardboard sleeve 7″ at the merch table, and you tell me it’s $10…I will tell you to fuck off. Both those tracks are on the goddamn CD, stop ripping people off.

Released today on the internets for free:
• Prussia’s “Blessed Be, Yours Truly In Spirit & Sound” (download here). These guys are great at naming albums and songs to ensure you’ll never remember the titles. They’re also great at planning their release party on the same night as our next acoustic showcase.
• Hidden Ghost Balloon Ship’s debut (download here). These guys invented the genre I invented that I refer to as “Creepy Groovy”. Ex-Pas/Cal, Zoos of Berlin, blah blah blah…you know who they are. The download includes a bonus remix of “Latest Journey” by Will Yates, who may or may not have been featured on last night’s episode of Intervention.

The Black Keys have done pretty well in Detroit, at least as far as the last few years go, and now they’re headlining The Fillmore. Impressive. A steady stream of releasing solid albums combined with non-stop touring seems to be working for them. I know — musicians and their crazy ideas!

Is this their second time through Detroit touring “Attack & Release”? It seems like that album’s been out for a while. Why can’t I remember? More importantly, what does it matter? The Black Keys are playing The Fillmore Detroit this Thursday night with The Buffalo Killers and The Other Girls. Do you want to go? Do you want to go and not pay? Do you want to go and not pay and bring a friend? Do you want to go and not pay and bring a friend who also does not have to pay? Of course you do.

Enter to win a Guestlist +1 spot by leaving a comment (don’t forget to fill in the e-mail field) after watching this video. Tell me how far into it you were when something inside you…moved. A twitch of the loins, a bit of secretion — male or female, it won’t matter. You will succumb to the power of The Lansbury. After all, femininity and sexuality go hand-in-hand.