So people keep telling me that Cityfest/Tastefest is canceled this year? If people say it, then it’s true. Right after they tell me, they say something like “Isn’t that crazy?!” No. It’s not.

I admit that I adore people who like to minimize the role of economics when dealing with a Detroit event.  It’s not like Scrooge McDuck is sitting on a pile of money making sure that no one gets to use any for BIG FUN TIMES… Detroit, and everyone else, is broke.

I love when bands I want to see come and play in a parking lot for free, while I stand in some tent drinking free beer with the same 12 idiots I stood with the year before, and the year before that, and the year before that. I think exchanging your unemployment check for cash, then exchanging the cash for tickets, then exchanging those tickets for overpriced street meat right in front of the unemployment office has a certain charm to it that you would rarely find elsewhere. Still, if everyone is out of money, these dreams can’t become reality year after year.

So, the problem is sponsorship? I don’t understand the inner-workings of advertising to begin with. Why does any company give large amounts of money to have their name attached to something free? Do people routinely move their $8.43 cents to Comerica immediately following Cityfest? Do ads skyrocket in Real Detroit after people see that they paid to have their name on the program? Do any extra people start going to The Crofoot after they give two idiots a weekend night to let a bunch of people in for free? Okay, that was off topic. Still, I’m not amazed if it’s canceled, I’m amazed it went on as long as it did.

All of that stuff aside, the root of the problem may in fact be that they had to pay The Silent Years two years in a row when they didn’t play. That’s okay… I have a solution. Remember when Jack White saved that baseball field in Southwest Detroit? Surely he would sponsor this festival. I’m suggesting he get on this as soon as he’s done fighting the entire Air Force. NOT IN MY AIRFORCE!